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  • Writer's pictureNicholas Clay


A key to Freedom in life exists through Forgiveness. Not suppression, repression (into the unconsciouss), moving past, getting over, or forgetting. It's Forgiveness. To further expand our awareness we must remove our triggers (wounds/traumas), which can be powerfully done with forgiveness. Forgiveness is a key that opens the door to (what I consider) the fifth fundamental force, Consciousness. The others are the strong force, weak force, electromagnetic force, and gravitational force.

Forgiveness releases our stored pain energy and restores our light that shines behind the darkness. To forgive others is to forgive ourselves because, and is required to move every closer to Enlightenment (Objective consciousness). Forgiveness moves us toward the uderstaning that we are everyone and everyone is us, so to forgive another is to forgive ourselves and vice-versa. Forgiveness frees us from carrying our pain and the trigger that sets it off.

We all have a story and we all have constructed defenses for ourselves from our story. We all have something negatively tied to us that makes us upset, angry, fearful, anxious, stressed, etc… to some degree. My deepest wound was inflicted from my father. An emotional pain that for me was so deep that I would not even tell people (no matter how close to me) my middle name because it was his first. A pain so severe for me that the mere mention of him would upset me and if compared to him would anger me immensely. My entire goal in life was focused on not being him in any way, shape, or form. The negative impact this made on me was the most intense struggle of my life.

Why couldn’t he be a better father? Why couldn’t he be a better man? Why couldn't he be there for me? "How could he not show up to pick up his son, repeatedly?" How could he fight against paying child support to a single mother struggling to earn enough to take care of her child? How could he physically attack (with the intention to harm) his own kid? Why could he just not be there? Were we not good enough? Was I not good enough? For this, I hated him with extreme prejudice and told myself I would never be like him.

I share this not for sympathy, I share this to connect vulnerably and experiencially. We all have stories of different kinds that make up our pain(s) and that one for me was my most challenging to forgive. Some of you may have "worse" and some "better". One person's pain does not diminish anothers. Pain is pain, hurt is hurt.

On our path toward healing we will find ourselves faced with many challenges or as I like to call them, checkpoints. What I'll say about this checkpoint was that at the time I finally forgave my father it was the most intense release of energy I have ever experienced and it felt as if the rest of my mind was finally free (although I discovered there was more hiding inside of my mind and my journey of healing was just begining). It was hands down one of the greatest experiences of my life and has allowed me to do amazing things for others using what I've learned. I can now authentically say that I love my father. I see him for his humanity and can only imagine the pain he harbors. Hurt people hurt people even if thoes people are thier offspring. I am happy to have broken the cycle.

Who are the ones in your life that pose your challenge(s)? Or is there no one to be found? If you can truly say there is no one who has ever been or is in your life that you harbor or carry a resentment or pain of any kind towards then you are at a great moment in life to further grow from. On the other hand, if you do have a person or persons that you have not forgiven then I encouraged you to accept the challenge of claiming your mental freedom from that mental burden. If you’re not sure, then try to talk about it with yourself and others. If we’re unable to talk about it, if it’s difficult or unpleasant to share (regardless of whom) then you can be assured we have not Forgiven.

"Communicating fully is the oppisite of being traumatized" - The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

—Chinese Proverb— 

"They who blames others has a long way to go on their journey… They who blames themselves are halfway there… They who blames no one has arrived…"

Forgiveness is a empowering choice
Forgiveness is an empowering choice

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